Episode 03: All Things Post Engagement - Saving you from complete wedding planning overwhelm
In this episode, Hannah & Scott look at the first steps to take after getting engaged...
They discuss:
How to stop getting overwhelmed at the start
First steps - sitting down and planning your must and must nots
Budget, the all important question of money
Key questions for suppliers and venue considerations
Booking your ceremony (very important!)
The dreaded guest list topic
They end with a little chat about their own weddings with a few tips to help you with your own planning.
If you have any questions for the show, email or DM Hannah & Scott from the website or Instagram using the links below:
Scott - https://www.scottcarneyphotography.com/
Hannah - https://hannahrachaelweddings.co.uk/
Website - www.allthingsweddingspodcast.com
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/allthingsweddings_podcast/
Show links:
Hosts:
Scott - https://www.scottcarneyphotography.com/
Hannah - https://hannahrachaelweddings.co.uk/
Website - www.allthingsweddingspodcast.com
Transcript:
Intro
Welcome to all things weddings helping you not forget your wedding planning journey. And here are
your hosts, Scott and Hannah.
Scott
Hello, welcome to all things weddings. I’m Scott, the photographer behind Scott Carney
photography.
Hannah
And I’m Hannah, the wedding planner behind Hannah Rachel Weddings. We’re here to help you
navigate your wedding planning to freely share tips, insights and behind scenes so you hopefully feel
less overwhelmed and stress free while planning your gorgeous wedding. Want in on all the tips and
to listen to us chat to some of our favourite suppliers. Well, then let’s dive straight in.
Scott
Hey, Hannah, what have you been up to this week? What’s going on?
Hannah
Hey, Scott, it’s been well, it’s been a good week. I’ve had, as we were sort of discussing a a little
minute ago site visit yesterday. So that kept me nice and busy with the marquee company caterer
going through everything that we need for my April wedding. So that’s really exciting lots of final
details I love being on site because especially when you’re with the supplier. Because you can kind of
go through the full plan. You know what everybody needs, you can assess the situation and iron out
sort of any kinks in in the initial plan. So that was really good. And then the rest of this week is just
I've had quite a few site visits and consultations over the last couple of weeks. So it is updating
function sheets and getting everything over to my couples. So they’ve got everything they need so
we can start firming up sort of some of their TBC’s, which lots and lots of paperwork to do, which is
always good. But I don’t mind doing it, it’s. I like the admin side of things, but yeah, what about you?
Scott
Yeah, it’s been good. So I photographed my first wedding on Saturday, so that depending on when
you listen to this, it’s yeah in February. Yeah, it’s really nice. It’s nice to be back. You know, it's, I
would say I like the little down period over winter kind of nice to be able to, like, take off the To Do
List a bit without adding to it. So it’s good to have that time and like a bit of a break and stuff. But I
do miss weddings when I’m not shooting them. And then I was worried I’m going to be rusty. Where
as I just want to get back into it really. But this year I’ve got like 2 in December, like 29th and 30th,
both at the same venue, which is nice obvious. Stay over and just do. Yeah, like two different
weddings with the same venue, if that makes sense. So yeah, I’ve got, like, a break in November.
Then I've got those two and then autumn and the break. So it’s kind of it’s quite a nice way of like
doing it. So it wont be quite as long a break as I’ve had this year. But yeah, so yeah, it was really
nice. It’s nice to be back and like. Had a good band. Big barn. Yeah, it’s good. Those sticks like white
sticks. But you turn them on and like. You know coloured different coloured lights or whatever.
Yeah, they seem to be like a thing now. I don’t know. Anyway, so they all had them and stuff on the
dance floor and yeah.
Hannah
So nice to photograph a bit different.
Scott
Yeah, it’s nice. Yeah. Yeah, it was good. Yeah, it’s tricky because it’s balancing like the light of those
sticks. You want to obviously show that, like, the fact that they’re coloured. Yeah, but yeah, it was
really good. Good fun. So yeah, it’s nice to be back. And I’ve got, like, 2 weeks now until my next one,
and then a few weeks till the next one. And I got two in April. One in April, whether having waltzes
which would be interesting. So.
Hannah
Ohh lovely bit different.
Scott
Yeah, so I tried to. I tried to the venue though, like, yeah. Not I was like, where they going? They're
like, I'm not really sure yet. But we'll figure it out so.
Hannah
(Laughing) They’ll work out a plan.
Scott
Yeah, they're really good there. So we'll see. But, yeah, that'll be fun. So, yeah, just. Yeah. Just feels
like it's sort of starting now, but nice and slowly, like easing in, which is good. So.
Hannah
Nice to get back. I know. I'm really itching to. Get my first wedding. Kind of like done and, you know,
get back into it and enjoy it. And I think it's that that time where you're giving yourself time to plan
and prep, but you're just eager to. Get to get back.
Scott
Yeah, it's so weird. Like I just get so, you know, obviously in the summer, like two or three a week
and it gets like you just get into a routine. And it's like amazing. And then you kind of when it stops,
it's like, right, OK. I'm ready to like, you know, obviously when I get everything edited and out, then I
just, I feel like I have a mental like stop. Then it's like, right, I just need a minute. Like, slow down and
obviously it's darker and it's colder and it's all kind of, you know, just a weird time. So it's so nice and
it starts seeing like a little bit of. I'm like, I'm literally looking at the window now and there's a few
things like. Flowering and growing in the gardens like little bit going on, isn't there starting to get a
bit lighter picking the kids up for nursery and noticeably lighter. And then yeah, just back at
weddings and stuff. So yeah, just a nice time of year, isn't it? I think, March like obviously this is 1st
of March today actually recording this, isn't it? And it's. Yeah, it's nice to like to know March is a nice
month. I always find.
Hannah
Yeah, it's it's the start of spring, isn't it? And everything's like coming to life again, which is. Yeah, it's
really, really lovely. Lovely time of year.
Scott
Yeah. So what are we going to talk about this week?
Hannah
We're going back to right at the beginning of planning and we're going to talk about what to do after
you've just gotten engaged. And I think there is a lot to consider, very loads of information isn't
there? Right at the beginning. And it's quite nice. Maybe for us to just chat through with some of our
experience of working with couples, what to expect and how to kind of move forward with the initial
stages. So you're not overwhelmed and you're not really stressed.
Scott
You know, people have in their minds like they go to friends weddings or family weddings, or maybe
been married before. But you kind of have this like, you know, might have a few little ideas and a
few things, but obviously when you finally get engaged, you kind of like right now we need to plan.
Then you might think, oh, it's not too bad. Yeah, we'll, you know, find a venue, will do a few bits and
that's that. And but then suddenly it's it's just so crazy. And the amount of information out there, the
amount of different people's ideas and different things. And it just I can definitely see how it could
become very overwhelming and had an open day, a venue in January. Also lots some of the couples
who came had just got engaged over the winter or whatever of the Christmas period so you know
I'm chatting to them and they're just. You can see that they're like definitely a little bit
overwhelmed. Like this is just, you know, we looked at 4 venues or whatever and. Spoke to all the
suppliers and they just you can just see there's like so much going on. So I think it's yeah, it's good if
we can break it down a little bit and be like look, here's kind of the first steps you should take or
here's some considerations I suppose. And and then go from there really.
Hannah
Definitely because there is so much to even consider before you even start looking at venues or, you
know, chatting to suppliers. And I think they're the stages, they're maybe getting missed or skipped
over and then that's where the panic and the overwhelmed sets in. A bit later because. The ground
work hasn't been done because you didn't. You didn't know how important it was. So I think like you
said, it's that kind of the first stage is really combating that in inspiration overwhelmed, isn't it? You
know, you just got engaged. You jump onto Instagram or Pinterest and you're flooded with ideas.
You start googling and you're looking at venues and things, and I think it is, it is quite an
overwhelming time, isn't it? Those first sort of few weeks when you are just bombarded with
information.
Scott
Even like obviously where? And no one can see this. Obviously this podcast, but I'm still sat in the
dining room. We still haven't got the the office is still waiting on the floor and going in. You know the
amount of stuff I've got on Pinterest, everything from like dark, sleek office to like, bright colourful
office. I've got so many boards, so many different even, I'm like, overwhelmed. That's just that, you
know, one thing like, it's so easy to, yeah, to lose sight of things, isn't it? So what do you think? So
you've just got engaged? What do you think the first thing I mean I would say talk. You know, sitting
down as a couple or with whoever is important to you. But generally, I'd say just as a couple to start
talking about the things that are really important to you is probably the first step, isn't it?
Hannah
Definitely. I think having that chat about maybe those initial things that you really love, like if you
have any initial ideas of getting them out in the open, it's talking about things like your guest
numbers, you know how roughly how many people you would want to invite. It's thinking about
location. So where in the world do you want to get married? Is there a certain season or a year?
Because that's really important for you to kind of think about. And then when you're contacting
venues and suppliers, obviously your venue, you then know roughly what time of year day of the
week your thinking of and then I think following that you can get into things like budget when you've
got more information.
Scott
Yeah, definitely. So I think, no, yeah. If you can think about even just like, right, who's who we're
doing, definitely what at the wedding, who's really important to us. Is it like say you literally just
want you two, you know, or a couple of friends or your kids or, you know, and you just want to go
off to like Scotland and get married at the side of a lake? Or do you want like say everyone, because
you just you've got loads of friends and family, you want it to be a big celebration and you want 200
people, you know, see those straight away are going to be different factors in terms of which venue
you can even book due to size. And and I think first thing about important like we definitely want so
and so or we've got kids at school or you know got parents or teachers or that might limit the days
because you need to be in school holidays or weekend you know you definitely want a weekend like
there's a lot of little things that I know where it's not just sort of like you don't just get married and
on Saturday in August these days. You can have any day really. So it's it's trying to think about what
what would be the kind of I suppose, a definite like no’s. Like say you might be like would definitely
want it on the weekend or we definitely want the summer because we definitely. You know, I can't
guarantee good weather necessarily, but we weren't really good weather like, say we've envisaged,
don't know, we love Greece, that's we've been on holiday loads and we just always imagine getting
married in Santorini or whatever then great, you know like so just having all those ideas, I guess
down and having the definite like, yes, this is what we want, you know, don't need to worry about
colour scheme just yet, but it's like this is who we definitely want the wedding or this is the ideas of
like we want a big wedding or we want a small wedding. More rustic, outdoorsy or more class. You
know, like a classic hotel, stately home or, you know, like says. No, that horrible like corporate
phrase. Like, there's no such thing as a bad idea or whatever. But like, you know, I suppose you're
right. Just. Especially you haven't discussed it much as a couple because you might not really, you
know, it's quite rare and I don't want to stereotype, but it's quite rare. Obviously both of you are
really into weddings, I guess. And you both like, happen to be chatting about weddings a lot before
you've got engaged. It probably doesn't happen that much, so you might be thinking ohh partner
really wants a massive you know, I can imagine they want a massive wedding, but then actually
when you sit and talk to them, you know I think be quite nice to be small and intimate so. It's good
just to get that all out there, isn't it? And then you've got a sort of working start. Almost.
Hannah
Definitely. And I always say to couples right at the beginning. It's really important why you touched
on to think about those priorities. So what are your absolute Nos? So you know you. You have to get
married, sort of in Greece or something. So and. And a wedding at home would not, you know, be
acceptable for you or? You love music and you really want a big band or something like that. You
know what are your priorities? What are your must haves and what are your absolutely Nos? If you
know that you've got guests travelling from far and wide, so accommodation on site is really
important. Then you know, create a list. So when you're looking at venues you are going through the
list thinking, no, that venue doesn't have accommodation on site. That's not gonna work for us. Or
we really want a particular cater but they have an in-house caterer so we can't have them, you
know, things like that, which are gonna influence your decisions going forward and it's. Very rare
that you'll find the absolute perfect sort of everything will line up. You might have to make
compromises, but at least if you've got a list of what you must have in your. Like non-negotiables
are, then you can then kind of work through that together as a couple and it cuts down on that sort
of like stressful situation when you're trying to make a decision later on.
Scott
Yeah, like for me, I knew the one. The only thing I was really dead certain on was that I wanted
somewhere we could have for the weekend that people could stay, you know, in the building,
basically. Or in the, you know, close vicinity that's safe for kids to go to bed. And they are, you know,
parents not to have to worry too much. So, you know, generally exclusive use. There's no one you
know, no random people staying kind of way that their, you know, kids could get out and wander
around and you know, all that kind of stuff. So that was the only like big thing for me because I knew
it wasn't going to be necessarily a huge wedding. But I knew the people who were closest to us, our
friends, our family, a lot of which have young kids. I wanted them to be able to come and enjoy it as
well, so. You know, the kids are a massive part of our family, so obviously we don't want didn't
wanna have no kids, which is totally, you know, acceptable if that's what you want to do. But for me,
I knew we were. We were going to have a lot of kids there, so I try to make it stress free for the
adults as possible, which is difficult young kids anyway, but. Knowing they've got a room, they can go
to. If the kid needs a nap or when they go down, they can go down, the monitor will reach to
wherever we're going to, you know, have a bit of a party and they don't have to worry about, you
know, like say, there's other people in the hotel or anything like that. So that was for us, was like the
key thing really. So we just found the venue that. Could you know could fit all that basically.
Hannah
And then you work out the other bits around it, don't you? You know, you might have to sacrifice
certain other things, or you might have to do, you know, be a bit flexible with something else, but.
You've got that core of what's really important to you?
Scott
Yeah, because we, you know, we looked at a few things but like obviously for you know, to to get a
say, you know a a more classic venue that we could hire for the whole weekend so you know from
like Friday afternoon till Sunday night Monday morning. Whatever. So we didn't have, we didn't
want to leave sort of have the ceremony on Saturday, you know, have the big party and stuff. And
then Sunday morning, having to scramble around, trying to collapse, travel cots and all this, you
know, by 10:00 AM to get out. So we wanted it for the Sunday all day as well. So to have all that. And
you know, I would have liked to have just had everything in one place, but we just couldn't do it. But.
Is it just for one budget? Just, you know, to hire a venue for the entire weekend and you know one
that's exclusive use and and all the rest of it had that many rooms. Was just too expensive. Basically
we kind of compromised and hired just a private house, basically. So we've got that for the whole
weekend. Then we've just got a bus to take everyone to the ceremony and back and just getting
married at our local church, which obviously it's just round the corner from our house. That's nice.
The kids got christened there. So to us it kind of has a bit of a special meaning as well. So it's kind of
a nice thing, but yeah, we couldn't just couldn't have everything in one place. So that's where the
compromise came in. But we've got the key thing that we wanted where we've got that base for the
weekend and yeah, we've all had to hire the bus, which is actually. It's very expensive, but it was still
nice. It's still nicer. Then we'd have to be about everyone trying to get cards in and out. And who's
driving and all this? It's like, just be ready for 11 on the bus and then everyone can just, you know,
travel and hopefully it'll be like a fun part of the day as well, because obviously the kids will love the
bus. It will be nice to be able to sit with everyone and chat a bit and we've got some Prosecco for the
journey back. And so, yeah, so we've kind of tried to make even though the. We didn't really want to
travel because it's a bit of a pain. We were like, we'll make it fun as we can anyway and stuff so.
Hannah
There are always ways that you can work around things aren’t there. You can you can make it and
you can add your personality. And I think that's another important thing to mention. When you are
choosing venues and suppliers and colour schemes and things like that. It's important to think about
how it relates to you as a couple. How that represents your personalities, what personal touches can
you bring into your day? That means something to you they don't have to be big, grand gestures.
They can just be little things that are going to be really memorable and you're going to enjoy and
look back on for years to come. And I think now's a really good time to think about it when you're
kind of going through the initial stages, you're thinking about where you're allocating your budget.
To think about how you can incorporate your your loves and those must haves into. To the day.
Scott
Yeah. So you touched on budgets like it's a tricky 1, isn't it because like say you might have your idea
about what we definitely wanna spend more than X amount, whatever that is. You know, it's 10
Grand, 50 Grand, 100 Grand, 2 grand. Whatever your, you know, budgets like, right, this is what we
want to spend. I guess when you first start planning like you have no idea. Like obviously I I've said,
you know, we're planning. When I know how much photography is in general. And I know a few
things from what I've heard, but I don't actually have a clue how much like. Flowers cost. I don't
know how much I'm going to spend on a suit. I don't know about the cost of, you know, if you're
gonna have DJ or a band. I don't actually know how much they cost. Really I work with a lot and I
know them, but I just don't know how much they charge, so it's even for me. It was hard to kind of
pinpoint the exact, so we kind of had a, you know, a bit of a Max budget like this is what we this. Is
our ideal. Like what we'd like to spend, and then when you start looking at each thing, you can kind
of think, right, we know what our. If we've got that list of must haves that start there and they say
obviously our my biggest expense by far was to hire the venue for the weekend. So we've got a lot
less little details and other little things that we probably you know didn't spend as much on a cake as
we might have done or you know we haven't got a band or a DJ. Partly because, you know, the kids
are in bed upstairs, type of thing. So we're just gonna have a Spotify playlist, hire some speakers and
and have a bit of a a little disco ourselves type thing. So I don't know how it work out and I probably
would have loved a band you know, I would have generally have thought like a band would definitely
would have, but partly budget and partly just the restraint to the venue just mean we can't
necessarily do that. So we're kind of compromising a bit again but you know, we stuck with the main
bit of our budget on the most important thing. But yeah, I think it's good to have at least an idea.
You're not going absolutely crazy and you know, getting loads of debt and obviously you can actually
afford it. But I suppose having like that little overall budget and then starting to tweak it a bit as you
start to find out the price of things, it's kind of you need a bit of flexibility, I guess, don't you?
Hannah
Yeah, definitely. And I think This is why it goes back working out to working out when you roughly
want your wedding, because then you've got an idea of how much money you can you want to save
up and that total budget. And then once you've got that, you can start thinking, like you said about
those must haves. How much you're comfortable allocating to that. And then when you start looking
through Instagram and Google, you can. Get a feel for. A lot of suppliers are really good and they do
put pricing on their websites and you can go on and you can get a from price or a rough estimation
of of what the cost is gonna be looking like. And then it's easier for you to reach out to suppliers and
kind of inquire about sort of costing, I think don't ever be afraid to reach out to suppliers and sort of
if they're in alignment with what you want with your style, don't you know go to a semi naked cake
designer if you want fully ice sugar crafted flowers, you know, try and be logical and think about
what fits your brief, but reach out to suppliers and ask them about their budget. If they don't give it
because I think it's really important for you to know. What kind of costings that you are looking at so
you can make informed decisions?
Scott
And then I suppose once you, yeah, once you've got that idea and you kind of, you can even speak
about budget. Like I don't think you need to be too scared about it. Like, I don't have a problem with
people coming to me and saying what's the pricing and blah blah and you know, I'll go back to
everything. Say, here's my pricing. Here's you know how I work and everything, and if it's just too
much. Like I'm still, you know, I will still look at trying to help them out if I can. So whether that's we
touched about it on the photography episode. But you know, whether it's just less hours coverage or
you can drop something or even if it's just. Just can't do it within that budget. You know, I'll still try
and find someone who I can recommend. You know, that fits that budget or whatever. And I think if
you go to supply and say look, this is our budget for something. They're at least be able to help a
little bit and advise, even if you're way off the mark with your budget kind of thing and then you
might be able to reassess a little bit. But yeah, I think it's important to talk to them. We're all small
businesses in general like it's, you know, we're always open to what to options really helping to try
and help so.
Hannah
What I think it is is it’s not being afraid to share your budget with suppliers because we are not here
to if you've got a 5 grand budget, we're not here to Max out your budget. We are here to work with
you to get the most value out of of what you want. You know we're not here to kind of like, see
dollar signs or pound signs and, you know, spend it all for you. We're here to help advise you on
where you can allocate that budget and if maybe we can't help, we might be able to recommend
somebody who we know who can. So it is really important to, you know, be honest with your
suppliers and and share your kind of costings to see, you know, cause we'll want to help wherever
we.
Scott
Yeah. That's why I like having a price on the website because I just, I don't want it to seem unfair to
people. I think people do have that and I'm not saying never happens because. Maybe it does with
some people not saying every supplier is fair. And and and whatnot. But obviously, yeah, I like to
have a price and the price of the price like it doesn't matter if you know, it's a celebrity inquiries or if
someone gets in touch me and says we've got a 10 grand budget for photography here’s our venue
can you send us your prices and like, yeah, it's £9999. What surprise like, you know, my price is my
price. So I like to have it out there. It's just transparent and fair. And I think people do worry that
they'll say their budget and then you'll price just, you know, at that budget. Kind of thing and I'm not
saying doesn't happen, so maybe it does. But yeah, I'd like to think most suppliers are pretty good
with.
Hannah
If price is ever going to change, it might be because you want three day coverage instead of one day.
You know, and your budget then allows for that things like that may affect, you know, cost. But
yeah, the standard sort of price thing. It is nice for us to have our our prices there for you to see
what what we're offering.
Scott
Yeah, and you can always go back on your budget, can't even reassess over time. So like you say,
you've got an initial amount, say, I don't know. We've got 20 grand to spend on a wedding. Great.
That's our our. Yeah, but then you could realise that, see, oh, everything we want. It's just going to
be more than that. Can we justify that? Yes, no. And then you can go back to it and say right, let's
scale back on something or let's you know, it doesn't matter. Let's just do it. It's, you know, the only
time we're doing this, so it all depends on what your fits with your kind of you know lifestyle and and
possibilities I guess doesn't it and everything so. You've got engaged. You sit down, you've got you
kind of must haves and you're kind of definite Nos and you've probably got a few little ideas in the
middle. You started to think about how much you can spend to overall budget, maybe start to reach
out to some suppliers that you like the look of whether like, say, Instagram, Pinterest, you know or
venue recommendations or wherever you go into wedding fairs or open days and you starting to
speak to suppliers, you starting to reach out and and and get some ideas of budgets for things and
starting to get a bit of a plan together. What do you think? So when you're you kind of go into these,
you know, open days. If you go into them or you speak into suppliers on social media or on the
phone, whatever or e-mail or you go into venues. What do you think are like? Some of the key
questions.
Hannah
Yeah, definitely. So I think what you'll need to do before, say, if you haven't chosen your venue yet,
you'll need to choose your venue before you really start and reach out and having to serious
discussions with suppliers because suppliers will need to know what date you're getting married. So
before you're looking at contacting them and it's really important to secure your venue so you'll be
thinking about things like we said, rough idea of guest numbers, what type of ceremony you want,
whether that's a civil ceremony, a blessing, and if you want to elope and have a big party, you'll be
starting to think about that, thinking about catering. And beverages. So what does that look like for
you? Is there anything that's really important? Then do you mind if there's an in house caterer or
would you like an external caterer, you know? Is there certain drinks that you must have, you know?
Can the venue accommodate that? Things like entertainment, is there any restrictions that the
venue has? You know, do they allow live music? Is there a cut off point if you want to party till 2:00
AM? Is that allowed? All those kind of things you want to be factoring all those decisions into your
venue visits and being, you know, asking loads of questions when you're going in. I've put together a
venue guide which is got about over 50 questions in it of what to ask when you go on your viewings
because there is so much that you can consider and you'll want to check out to make sure it's the
right decision for you. So yeah, you want to be kind of asking all those questions, sharing your
priorities and just making sure that they can accommodate things for you. Thinking about parking
accommodation, you know, timings. What time can you gain access when is? Is there gonna be
someone onsite to help you set up? What time does the bar close all of those kind of things to help
you get a big picture and then you'll be able to kind of make an informed decision on what venue
you want and then you'll be able to go on and contact your suppliers to find out more information
about pricing and if they're the right fit for you. Start arranging some discovery calls so you can chat
through their work and their style and make sure they align with you.
Scott
Yeah, a lot of good points there. I'll I'll link to your your the the document obviously from the venue
questions and stuff because I think that’s good. Yeah, the type of ceremony is obviously important,
isn't it? Because you say most. Of you know, proper wedding venues as such will have like a licence.
You can get married there and there might be limitations as to where in the venue you can get
married but but obviously places. If you just hire somewhere that isn't a wedding venue. Almost
likely not going to have a licence for that, so you could get a celebrant or a humanist in and have a
ceremony still which you know looks very similar to a normal ceremony, but obviously not legally
binding in England. So yeah, you'd have to go to like registry office before or after or something to
actually be legally married. So there's a few little facts around that which I know we're going to talk
to other Rachael, celebrate now. On one episodes coming up so that we'll talk a lot more in detail
about that, but. But yeah, things like that I guess are important. And yeah, the drink and food is a big
one. Obviously a lot of venues are gonna be like, you know, you're not limited but you know you you
have to use the suppliers either themselves or suppliers that they recommend for food. They've got
their own bar, so you can't just bring whatever you want to drink. So the things that are important to
you, then you're going that's going to be limitations. So. So yeah, I guess things like that. Very
important, like the next step almost after the big you know, things we have to have and things we
definitely don't want. Then you can start talking about the smaller things like that as in terms of like.
I would definitely want a certain type of food, right? Make sure the venue actually does that then or
has a supplier that can do that. And yeah, drinking things and yeah, like, say, you might be thinking
your head. Right. Yeah. We want a band to play till 3:00 AM or we want it to be like a nightclub or
whatever and the but there be limitations with their licence to the venue is actually we have to stop
all music by midnight or, you know, whatever things like that so. Yeah, lots of things considered
there, but a link to that and I think that we could probably talk about that for another episode. Even
almost, couldn't we? But there's a lot to yeah to consider there. But yeah, that's great. So then you
start to go to venues, you start asking the questions, you start to figure out what's important. I guess
you book a venue and a date. Don't forget to reach out to whoever is so if you are having a a a
ceremony that's led by a registrar, obviously they only have certain times available in the day, so I'd
say as soon as you get your date, make sure they've you book that in with them really, because
otherwise you might end up with a really late or early ceremony because it'll be limited obviously
that twelve 1:00 o'clock which is the most popular time, I guess they'll book up quite quickly.
Hannah
Definitely. I think that's a really good thing to mention about getting your ceremony sort of booked
in because like you said, there's nothing worse than contacting a registrar six months later and not
being able to get that date, your venue will also need to know what time your ceremony is booked
for. Some say some have cut off points so they don't let you get married too early because there
wouldn't be enough time to set up and things like that. So it's really important to check in with them
to make sure if they've got any restrictions in regards to timings. But yeah, get that booked in. And
then you've kind of got the venue side of things done for now, which is really nice. It's a lovely
position to be in. I think everybody starts to relax a bit more when they've got the venue, booked.
And then it's on to all of the other suppliers and it is booking those priority suppliers first isn’t it
Scott. It's thinking about those must haves and you know if you know photographers really crucial to
you or band, it's reaching out to them first and getting your dates secured in the diary because
people are booking up sort of 12, 18 months even two years in advance. So it's really important if
you know who you want and you love somebody to get your date in their diary and get it secure.
Scott
Yeah, especially I say photography band things where obviously they can only do 1 a day. You know,
planners like it's it's, you know, you can only be in one place on that day. So in general, like yeah, if if
someone wants something, you've had four inquiries this year for August 10th next year. And I've
already put, I booked it like ages ago. Yeah, like a Saturday in August. Obviously. Just a popular date I
guess it's weird. I’ve got two Saturdays next year in August, booked two that I'm not booked for, just
get loads of inquiries that the 10th of August, whatever. So yeah, so it's annoying. But yeah, that's
yeah. So definitely get in touch like those crucial things first that you know, you definitely know you
want certain people. We talk about guest numbers a little bit I guess because the guest list is a. Kind
of a tough subject, isn't it? At times and even I've battled this a little bit and thinking about who's
important for you to have there and you might be like, well, we don't care about certain people. We
don't care about this person, that person, but you know then, is it gonna cause issues in the family?
Do you care about that or not? Like it's I'm a big advocate. I've always said I think probably in every
episode of like, do you know your day your way type thing of like? Whatever you want, whatever
you want it to be. Fortunately, in 2023, you basically can have almost anything. You know, it's pretty
limitless, but. You know, is it really worth causing a big argument over it if it's going to be, you know,
some? If it's important to you or not important and so on. So yeah, I guess sitting down, having a
little thing of like, here's who would definitely want to have or definitely need to have. And then
maybe a bit of another list of maybe like if we can, you know if the budget can stretch it or the
venue can fit, we'll have these other people as well or whatever. And then you've got a rough idea of
of numbers, and I think most venues are depend on the size you know can accommodate an average
number of guests. But yeah, if you suddenly can if. You can have like 200 plus guests. That's that's
quite a lot for a lot of venue. If you only want 20, it might be that some venues have minimum
spends, or the space is just so big it would be maybe a little bit. It wouldn't feel right. We're only 20
people, so you have to consider that, I guess. And you as well.
Hannah
Yeah, definitely. And I think it is going back to thinking about is anybody else contributing to your
wedding? Because sometimes if people are contributing, they feel that they have a certain input. So
it's gaining that expectation and they expecting that they can invite some people. Are they expecting
that they have a certain say over something, so it's understanding that expectation as well and if
that's going to put any sort of you know limits or additional thoughts and things that you need to
consider when you're choosing your guest list and you know, venues and working out capacities and
things like that as well.
Scott
Yeah, it's tough, isn't it? I I think the best advice and given it's obviously you know everyone's family
situations or friends situations is different. The best advice I can say is to reach out to people early
and just. You know, chat to them like I. Think most people. You would think are fairly understanding.
If you say look, we're just having really small wedding whether that's you know, that's just the way
we want it, we want it to be really, you know, small, intimate or budget constraints or whatever it is
like talk to people early and get an understanding of where they're at with it or it might be, you
know, you speak to your parents saying they're like, yeah, yeah, it's great. You know this is you have
to invite so and so and you have to invite so and so and then being like, look, I understand why
you're saying that. But we can't because of this reason or that reason. Or. Yeah, of course. We'll
invite them. Forgot about that. Thanks for that. And you know, just so like, say, you are getting that
because you don't. You don't want a surprise down the line, maybe where say someone something
like ohh so and so hasn't had the invite yet. Oh yeah, we're not inviting them. Ohh. How come? Or
and then there's a fall out or, you know, you just want to try and limit any of that, don't you? Cause
the last thing you need on your you know running on the run up to a wedding is family stress drama,
friends drama, whatever. Of of not inviting the right people or whatever they might be. And you
forget and not because you know you don't love them or like them. It's just you forgot about them
for whatever reason or. Or, you know, things like plus ones can be tricky. Can't they like if all your
friends have, plus ones apart from one single friend and then they meet someone and you plan your
wedding for two years. Suddenly that plus one who wasn't a come, a factor for 2 years before is now
like they're getting engaged themselves or something. It's. Things can kind of change, but can't they
so.
Hannah
Again, it has and I think it's discussing. With your venue, what kind of buffer there is. You know, if
you're sitting at Max capacity, then you know that you know what the limitation is. But if you're kind
of 10 or 20 people under and your budget allows cause, obviously you've got to think adding on
additional people is quite expensive in terms of food and drink and and things like that. So, you
know, if your budget allows and you have got some wiggle room, then you know. And you want to
feel free to add them on. It's just all those things to kind of be thinking about in the background. You
know, there has to. Unfortunately, there always has to be a cut off with these things and you know
you have to put your foot down at some point. It's just deciding where that line is, like you said.
Scott
Yeah. So yeah, it's just that's the only advice I can give like say, just speaking to everyone, isn't it?
And? Just getting an understanding where people are. I think most people. Are kind of, you know
hopefully understanding I think 1 positive to come out of COVID I guess is that you know there has
been a lot of smaller weddings and people are a little bit more understanding of that now and used
to it and obviously cost of living crisis and things that are going on at the moment. It's you know I
just don't think it's worth crippling yourself you know. What you think will be the perfect day, you
know, it's just not gonna be in the same way if you've had to take on, like, say, all this extra budget
that you weren't, you know, anticipating and and, you know, having to sort of get yourself in debt or
anything like that. So. Yeah, I'll just be honest with people and then chat to them and be open and
hopefully you'll can kind of get a guest list that works for you. Cool. So yeah, your your your rough
numbers, you've got your venue, a date, you start to book your key suppliers, you’re probably on
Pinterest before this point. But even then, you've kind of now start to get a really good idea of how
you want your day. It can be quite exciting then, to start getting your kind of colour schemes and
ideas and all that. What I call the fun stuff. But you know, all that stuff together. And and trying to
understand like, yeah, all the little smaller things almost, isn't it like if you're going to do a bit more
DIY or if you're hiring, you know a stationary or a stylist or whatever? But you know you can start to
get excited about all the smaller things, I guess.
Hannah
Yeah, definitely. And start planning out how your personality is going to come into your day through
those elements as well. And I think you know when you've got that relief that you've booked those
suppliers, you then do have a bit more brain space to go through and kind of work on all the
decorative element. And the florals. You know what? Napkins or linen you're having or not having?
And yeah, and have some fun with it.
Scott
So what else is that? It have we covered you covered a? Good, good amount there for you.
Hannah
I think we've covered if we recap. Yeah, I think you know the initial stages is not to get too
overwhelmed by all the information that's in front of you. Understanding and evaluating sort of
what budget you can have, and getting those must haves and those priorities really locked in and
then going through you know the things that you need to be able to kind of like view venues and
book suppliers. So I think that kind of covers the initial stages, doesn't it? Of what to do after you've
just got engaged?
Scott
Yeah, I think so. I think that's definitely a good starting point. And the more time you spend on it,
obviously you start looking. You start speaking to suppliers and venues and planners and all this stuff
you kind of you'll start to get your own ideas as well. So it becomes less of a, you know, almost less
overwhelming because you're you've got some more experience almost then in the in the kind of
wedding world I guess and you know some people have never been to a wedding in their life and
some of the plan, their own or some people go to. You know, seemed to. Be, you know, at wedding
every weekend. So just, you know, it varies, isn't it? And then. But yeah, I think just trying to have
fun with it is the biggest thing I would say to couples when I'm chatting to them initially because. It's
supposed to be a fun part of the wedding, right? Like it's supposed to be exciting. We've just got
engaged. Amazing news. Now we're getting to plan. You know, one of the best days of our lives and
however, that looks for you. It's supposed to be fun. I think it be shame if it gets super stressful and
you just start getting away from the whole point of, you know, getting married. And that's, you
know, that's always the thing, isn't it?
Hannah
It's not getting bogged down with all the details. It is like you said, remembering why you're doing
this because you love each other and you wanna have a like a celebration with the people you love
most and you wanna celebrate that. It's not, you know, because you wanna get stressed out over
stationary and fonts and florals and details. You know you want to. Kind of just take time out. Just
two of you. Throughout the whole thing, just to enjoy the process and. You know, go out for a date
night and start doing a bit of planning or having a a conversation over a cup of tea and a biscuit.
Whatever it is you know, make sure that it's not stressing you out to the high heavens that you
know, yeah.
Scott
Yeah, that's the biggest thing, isn't it? Like, just enjoy it and like it can be hard because obviously you
like, say, one of you may be really excited about the wedding and trying to like, say, look at
everything and watching movies, about weddings and looking on Pinterest and like, say, looking
through the different colour schemes and everything, the others just doesn't seem bothered at all.
So I think it's just trying to have a bit of a compromise with each other and understanding that you
know, you both want what you want and and just yeah, trying to have fun with it and make it
exciting. And I don't know it is exciting, but it is stressful. Like even I've been a bit overwhelmed with
like wedding planning. And I'm obviously in the industry and I know a lot of people and I go to
obviously you know, 30-40 weddings a year. So you know and even I was like, wow. Yeah, a lot to
think about stuff. And we're doing it very like DIY and stuff. So you know, we're not even that
worried. I mean, we haven’t even got tablecloths? Yeah, probably should do that soon. But yeah,
like, we're not, you know, worried about a lot of those little things. But even then, it's been quite like
a lot haven't got my suit yet either. Which is another thing but yeah, so you know, need to get on to
that.
Hannah
Always something isn't there that you push to the back and then you're like, oh, I really need to do
that because you're getting married in May, aren't you, Scott?
Scott
Yeah, 6th of May kings Coronation day. No, it's not long. We've got lucky, though, cause we were
gonna. We, we Sarah really wanted May like I was open to I I wasn't really about the time of year like
I did want to. I do want to be outside a bit if I can, so we kind of wanted it to hopefully be ok
weather outside that I wasn't too worried. But Sarah loves like springtime. And like, May is her
favourite month or so like May is perfect. We're going to do a bank holiday because as I say, we
wanted the whole weekend thing. So for a lot of people it's ideal. If it's a bank holiday, but again, it
was just way too expensive, like it was an extra like 2 1/2 grand or something for the venue. For the
even we're having it for three nights, the same as we are now, but just because it was a bank holiday
rather than a non bank holiday, there were. An extra like 2 1/2, three grand or something. So it was
just like a lot of money for, you know, for that. So we're like, it's fine, we'll book the next weekend.
So yeah, we're looking at 1st May weekend, the May Bank holiday at the beginning of May. So like
right, we won't do that then because it’s expense. We'll do the next weekend and obviously we'll
stay the Sunday night but a lot of people go on the Sunday if they’ve got work, whatever on the
Monday, that's fine. Obviously, now that's a bank holiday because the King's coronation was
announced. So it's worked out perfectly. Yeah. So someones some good luck there for us. So yeah,
so we've got the bank holiday anyway at the cheaper price. That was lucky, but. Yeah. And then we
worried the church would cancel. There be some issue because it's the King's coronation. But they've
said no, it's fine. Like obviously, it's no nothing different there. So yeah, so, so far so good on that
front. But yeah, it's quite close now. Yeah. So what, when did you get married, Hannah? A while ago.
Hannah
So I got married ages ago, April 2018 and again I really love like spring kind of time. So April was just
perfect. We got married over at Denton Hall, which is a big stately home, and for us it was really
important to have a whole weekend sort of a celebration. So we had it from the Friday afternoon to
the Sunday, sort of lunch time. So it was perfect for us to get our family and friends together and just
celebrate and relax and and. Yeah. So it was just perfect. And when people say it is like one of the
best days of your life, it really, really is. And it's just. Trying to enjoy it and live through, you know, be
in the moment when you're having your day. Cause it goes so so quickly and and everything, yeah.
Scott
No, it's so cliche, isn't it? But everyone says it like everyone. Like, if I'm leaving at the end of the day
there was, like, can't believe it's like done, you know, whatever. Like can't be how fast it's gone. It's
so true, isn't it? Like, there's never any time. I'm trying to think like there's just never really a time
when both both of your families, I guess, and both of your friends, whatever, are all going to be
together for a happy occasion at the same time, so it doesn't really ever happen, does it? Obviously,
people make even more effort for weddings. If you've got family abroad or you know right, you
know far or you know, down South or up north, wherever you are, like and stuff, they'll kind of
might not travel all the time for like, you know, a kids birthday or something, maybe. But they'll, you
know, most people make the effort for a wedding. So this really is probably the only time when the
all those people are going to be together.
Hannah
And it is, it's just a. Really wonderful experience to have all the people that you love most
surrounding you and celebrate in such a happy occasion. You get to eat cake if you wanna eat cake
and just have a great meal. And it is. It is just lovely. And then you've got the day after. It's kind of
like decompress and take it all in and catch up with everybody. It was, yeah. Just perfect and we had
the most gorgeous weather. As well, we were so lucky. So yeah, you couldn't couldn't have planned
a better day, which was was nice.
Scott
Yeah, like fingers crossed the weather, I I'm not stressed about it because it just is what it is, isn't it?
Nothing to do, but yeah. Hopefully be OK in May. Yeah, the only thing which is stressing us out really
is the kids because, like, our kids are two are two and one now. Martha, will be three later this
month. So they’ll be 3 and 1 come the wedding. So yeah, it's like obviously a difficult age because
they're, like, quite clingy and needy. So we're going to see, but we've done as much as we can to
like, you know, hopefully be fun for them. Obviously all the family there, which is nice, we've got our
neighbours are both doctors, they work like weird shifts and stuff. So their daughter, who's a little
bit younger than our daughter but like not far off. So they were they we hang out with them all time,
which is nice. They have a nanny like a full time nanny, so she's coming because obviously they're
coming to the wedding. So we've got basically hired their nanny for the like the wedding weekend.
There's another thing so she can help with like. Yeah, because we're just worried. It's like, obviously,
Sarah is gonna be getting hair and makeup done and getting dressed and stuff. So she'll kind of be
left alone to do all that, and then I'll try and be entertaining everyone, I guess. Maybe making
breakfast or something. I'm not sure how it will go, but yeah, like we just, we want to have someone
who we know can just have an eye on the kids. Like, even if they're with. Family or hanging out, stuff
like that like. Who want to make sure someone who's like sober and has got their eye on them type
thing to just make sure they're fine. So she's helped sometimes. I'm like, yeah. And she's helped
sometimes on Saturdays. If, like, Sarah's working. And I've got a wedding. She's like, come look after
the kids and stuff. So they know her really well. Obviously we hang out sometimes and stuff. So that
was like another just expense for us. That was like, well worth it just to alleviate some of the stress,
really. And the like, where we've hired has, like a basement games room, like a bar, a games room
and everything down there, which is perfect for later on because it's not going to disturb anyone
sleeping but the monitors. Obviously it's like 3 stories and then the basement. So that we can't put
the kids to bed and have a baby monitor on that will reach that far. So just having her there for the
night, she can obviously have the monitors and keep an eye on all the kids and stuff while we can
relax a bit in the basement and not worry about waking up the kids with the music and we can have
a drink and. So yeah, for us, we were just we kind of made when we were going through that initial
like what are our must haves. It was like what can we do to alleviate the stress and what are our
stresses at the minute, well, the kids are stressful or transport or location or, you know, whatever it
is, it's like, right? How can we alleviate that? That's why we've done that. So I don't know if wedding
Nanny is a thing. I think it is a thing, but.
Hannah
It is. It is a thing.
Scott
But yeah, so we just, we've done that, which is, yeah, just to eleviate that stress. So hopefully that'll
be I'll be alright, but yeah, we have no idea what the kids gonna be like. We've we've kind of said,
oh, if they wanna just walk down the aisle with us, they can. If they want to, just hang out with us,
it's fine. Like we're not. You know, they probably won't just sit nicely with someone else while we're
not in the church, so.
Hannah
I think that's what. You have to do on a wedding day sometimes, especially if you've got little ones. It
is just a case of not putting too much pressure on yourself for the day to go a certain way and just
seeing how it happens and and taking it as it comes.
Scott
Yeah, we're walking down the aisle together, which is different. The because we get married in
church. The vicar came to our house, like, literally last week. You can just go through like what songs
you want and you know a bit explains the order of the day and stuff like that. And then which is fine.
Yeah, it's asking us. We're like, yeah, just cuz we're, you know, we're travelling together on the bus.
So we're gonna see each other anyway. We'll like, we'll just do, like, a very American. But first look at
the house before we leave so we can have a moment together, which will be nice and then just
travel together. But we’re already there, so it would be weird for me to just go ahead and stand at
the end of the aisle for Sarah just to walk in and said his dad's no longer with us. So she's like, I'd
feel, you know, not gonna walk down with anyone else. So we're like, just walk down together would
be fine. So he was like, I've never had it. But yeah, it's fine. You know, go for it. So. Then I don't know
what we like, but would be kind of nice. Plus I would have to be all emotional in front of everyone,
so that'll be kind of nice being just doing it in private just me and Sarah and the photographer.
Hannah
Yeah, it’ll be lovely and it's nice to do something a bit different, isn't it? That's personal to you.
Scott
Yeah, it's just worked the way it's worked out and obviously we've already lived together. We've got
two kids. It's not like you know there we've been that traditional anyway. So we're gonna go with it.
Yeah, we'll see. Anyway, we should, we should go. And then I can go and try and find a suit.
Hannah
Yeah, we should probably wrap up so you can get on that.
Scott
Because I can go and buy one of those things. I need to get tailored. I guess I need to like blah blah
blah and obviously it probably takes a bit of time so.
Hannah
Easier to get one fitted and get it hired and.
Scott
Yeah. So, yeah, maybe I'll go out this afternoon and do it, but it seems it's wet and it's like mid week.
So hopefully the shops won't be too bad either.
Hannah
Yeah, sounds like a good plan.
Scott
Cool. Alright, thanks so much, Hannah. And we'll see. You next week.
Hannah
See you next week.
Scott
Cool bye.
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